I mean is it really? You introduce
yourself in a crowded bar to a likely drunk stranger and now you’re offended
that Kristen didn’t pick up “Kenji” at first go. Every person, at least once in
their life, has had their name mistaken for something that isn’t right but most
people brush it off and correct the person.
“O your name is Eliza! Like Eliza
Thornberry from Nickelodeon!”
“No Elijah, like the prophet (yes I
hint that I very well could be a profit).”
I
don’t get offended; I don’t make a rude stand, I just get it. I get that my
name does not, and likely will not ever make the “top ten most common name”
list and that’s ok. I also realize that
number of names that begin in “Eli” are predominantly female and outweigh those
of men so I don’t take grand offense to a mistake or a stupid joke that goes
with it. This short story of the difficult life of a transgender man is riddled
with problems and unfortunately for Kenji, no one really cares.
The
first issue is that Kristen either knew Kenji was a trans-man and did not care
or had no clue at all, either way she still extended her hand to meet him.
Kristen did what any person does when meeting someone new; she made a quick
joke off what was available. The joke didn’t land but who shoots 100% from the
line? If instead of taking offense to such a small mistake Kenji could have
just blew it off and continued the conversation.
Kenji
continues on to discuss the issue of trans “color folk” changing their name to
that of Celtic origin. This happens for a simple reason, they were raised in a
predominantly white country. Yes I know how dare I state the fact that 63% of
the United States is white and thus people who were raised here change their
name to something that falls under this category. No one asked you do to this,
no letter appeared on your doorstep with a list of acceptable names that you
had to choose from. In fact, no one cares what your name is. “This racialized
gendering of names gets in the way for people who need to make their gender
obvious in the dominant culture.” No, it does not. You can change your name to
whatever you’d like. Will your name be less common? Yes. Will people mess it up
from time to time? Of course. The idea that people really care what your name
is is idiotic.
Unfortunately
for Kenji, he is running into the common problem of finding himself as a victim
instead of the real issue, he has a name that is not common in western
cultures. No one hates him, no one thinks they’re better because their own name
is “white,” they likely just think he’s being a bit of an ass. So for next time
Kenji, just correct Kristen order yourself another Stella and don’t look for
problems that are not there.
This is an interesting take on the essay. In dropping his voice to a growl and storming off, the author might have overreacted a little to the girl in the bar, but I'm not so sure that I would go so far as to say that he was labeling himself a victim. Maybe he was instead pointing out the problems that are there and illustrating his point with just one such instance.
ReplyDeleteBeing likened to a dog when Kristen said "like Benji, right? Benji the dog!" was definitely demeaning for Kenji in this specific example that he gives, regardless of whether Kristen meant for it to come off as such.
The larger issue that Kenji was addressing, at least in the way that I read it, didn't seem to be about solely that trans men of color were choosing Celtic names, but that those men were influenced to do so because "the white male body [is] what is normal for masculinity" in the culture of white supremacy, as Kenji calls it.
So maybe he didn't overreact to Kristen solely because of his name being misunderstood, but instead was reacting to the racism that he and others like him faced in general? If the essay is read like that, perhaps the real issue is the factors in society that make his name so uncommon in western cultures.
Hmm. I find this blog post interesting for a number of reasons. I have already posted my 2 class-required comments, but I really feel the need to comment here:
ReplyDeleteI want you to search "2016 most popular boy names". You'll notice that on almost every single credible list, the name "Elijah" is listed as #8 most popular for boys this year.
On the other hand, you'll notice names like "Ganesh" or "Kenji" do not even make the top 1000. Yet Kenji and I took different routes - whereas he chose to embrace his ethnic roots and choose Kenji, I chose to westernize my name to "Nesh".
Whereas I caved to the societal pressures of conforming, Kenji chose to go against that. While there certainly isn't a literal list of approved names delivered to our doorsteps, there essentially is, and it exists in a form called privilege. Certain names, especially biblical names such as "Elijah", have societal benefits over other names, such as "Ganesh", in our western society. Minority groups often change their names or name their children in a way that is more conforming to western standards - nobody outright tells them to do this, but this is done in order to help prevent discrimination, prejudice, bullying, etc. and improve their future prospects in terms of school and careers
So when Kenji chooses his name, he decided it wasn't worth covering up his ethic origins because, like me, they are personally significant. Because of this, it's easy for me to see why he gets so frustrated when situations like this occur - because those same situations are what prompted me to start going by "Nesh". Again, its much easier for minority groups to empathize with Kenji because we have all gone through that, so I understand why you wrote this. But hopefully you can understand why that promoted me to write this comment.
(Written on my phone please excuse any typos)
In my opinion, you may be looking at this situation in a way unintended. You focused at Kenji’s frustration of the mispronunciations of his ethnic name. Yes, Kenji was annoyed that his name, once again, was incorrectly said. But I chose to interpret his frustration at something a bit deeper. To me, Kenji’s frustration stems from the notion that he’s expected to take on a Celtic name. When others come to America after living in a different country, they often change their names to a “whiter” name, change their clothing styles, and try to erase their accents, or engage in other acts in an attempt to westernize themselves. Individuals with ethnic roots are automatically expected to erase or at least water down their ethnic identity in order simplify their assimilation into American life. And Kenji is fed up with this expectation. This is why he decided to keep with an ethnic name to try to combat this. Despite his efforts to change this societal norm, it is ultimately futile. In my opinion, this is where his anger comes from. Though he kept an ethnic name, he will always be expected to have a westernized identity. This subtle form of oppression would anger anyone, so do not dismiss Kenji’s feelings. Just because you do not understand his anger, does not mean that the anger should not exist. I urge to gain perspective form other’s experiences, rather than dismiss it and say “it doesn’t matter.”
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this essay for its honesty. People mishear names all the time. People make jokes all the time about names. Not to play any kind of victim card but my name is a verb and a common one at that. While this essay does argue a bit to the extreme I don't think it is totally off the mark. On the topic of Kenji's feeling offended at the 'like Benji' remark, yes it can be a bit demeaning to liken someone to a dog but let's not forget that Benji was lovable and surely the remark was meant to start a conversation on light note. I agree that the character acted rashly and, as I stated previously, while this argument does lean more to the side of the extreme, the character was oversensitive and that does seem to be the focus of this essay.
ReplyDelete