This course has made me acutely aware of the ways in which society tries
to dictate how people look, dress, act, speak, et cetera. I recognize that this
applies to many groups of people, but I feel that I can only speak directly
about my experiences as a person who was born female and identifies as female.
When I was younger, as soon as I
could choose what I wore, I typically chose things that most would categorize
as 'tomboy'. I hated the color pink and I was appalled by the notion of skirts
because they were impractical to play in. At a young age, my clothing choices
weren’t a conscious protest to what society expected me to do, it was just what
I liked. One day, I went out to play with my neighbor friend, Julie, dressed in
jeans, a big yellow sweatshirt, and a hat turned backwards. The first thing out
of Julie’s mouth was “Ew, you look like a boy.” This was coming from a girl who
I think I saw wear something besides a dress only twice in the decade we were neighbors. But her
words always stuck with me. And I found that over the years, it was easier to 'dress
like a girl' to avoid ridicule, rather than to dress the way I was most
comfortable or liked the best.
As a woman in this society, I
feel a constant pressure to look 'pretty', to live up to certain standards. Is
my stomach flat enough? Are my thighs too thick? Are my breasts big enough, but
not too big? Does my hair look perfect? Looking in the mirror, these are the
questions that march through my head. The worst part is, though, that my
experience is not unique and for many girls, these thoughts start to creep in
at a very young age.
In “Barbie Doll” by Marge Piercy,
the focus of the poem is a female with a similar experience to my own. She had
a classmate point out physical characteristics that were aberrant to societal
norms – “a great big nose and fat legs”. She tried to conform and do as she was
told to be a proper woman, one who did not openly display her intelligence, who
did not express her sexual drive, who did not show strength - because those are
boy things. But she grew tired of trying to counteract all the things that made
her, her. And so, she gave up, “cut[ting] off her nose and legs and offer[ing]
them up.” She succumbed to the pressures that society places on women each day.
But, oh thank goodness, she was finally seen as pretty in death, “To every
woman a happy ending.”
I mean that’s what we all want,
right? To be accepted? To be beautiful? But at what cost? How far will we go,
as women, to reach the high standards of beauty constructed by the society in
which we live? Well, as was hinted at in “Cinderella” by Anne Sexton, women
will physically alter their bodies to do this. In order to fit into the slipper, one of Cinderella’s
step sisters cuts off her big toe while the other cuts off her heel. Tis but a
flesh wound, right? Frighteningly, these actions closely resemble the concept
of plastic surgery – cutting off bits of your body to fit standards of beauty. And let's not forget the body altering trend of waist trainers...
I’m not going to try to offer up a solution to any of this, because
frankly, I don’t know one. But I do think it is important to reflect upon the
effect that these pressures have on women throughout their lives. We shouldn’t have
to constantly ask for society’s approval.
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