The Disney Formula

The poem “Cinderella” by Anne Sexton, does a fantastic job at pointing out some of the sexist stereotypes that are prevalent in all princess fairy tales, but notably in Cinderella. A lot of these tropes are present in many, if not all, of the official Disney Princess Lineup – so let’s break this down and come up with a general formula of how to become a Disney Princess:

Also, since when has there been this many official Disney Princesses? 

• The royal ball represents a patriarchal reinforcement of monogamist heterosexual partnerships – or as Sexton calls it, the “marriage market”. See also: Frozen
• Worst still, Cinderella must beg to go to the ball, because how else will they be happy?  All women should beg and plead to go to the marriage market because after all they all need a man to complete her. See also: The Little Mermaid
• Cinderella is abused by her new stepmother and stepsisters, who force to pick up many lentils in order to go to the ball. Cinderella must go plead to the dove for help to get out of this –  a classic damsel-in-distress situation. See also: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, 
• The prince, in an entirely creepy fashion, covers all of the palace steps with something called “cobbler’s wax”? While it succeeded in getting the golden shoe stuck, I’m fairly sure his motivation was to capture or trip Cinderella herself – which seems to me like an example of the lover-who-will-do-anything-to-get-the-girl. See also: The Princess and the Frog
• Speaking of princes, Disney has had to retroactively name princes such as from Snow White or Cinderella, because they were previously nameless when the Disney Princess Franchise started. Until then, and even including this poem all princes were simply known as Prince Charming, the handsome men that are presented as the solution to all of a girl’s problems. See also: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast
• Notice how easily the stepsisters will mutilate their bodies to try and fit the standard of beauty? A necessary step in all of these princess tales seems to be doing whatever it takes to conform to beauty standards. See also: The Little Mermaid
• This in itself should demonstrate the unnecessary rivalry that women are often thrown into for these fairy tales – but it should also be noted that SO MANY princess stories involve a primary antagonist that seems to be an older woman (Grimhilde from Snow White, Tremaine from Cinderella, Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, Ursula from the Little Mermaid, Mother Gothel from Tangled, etc.) and that also supports this idea of competition between women. See also: Snow White, The Little Mermaid, Tangled
• Finally, there’s the annoyingly exaggerated ending, which Sexton is happy to hyperbolize. All of the happily ever after endings are unrealistic, but yet again it reminds women that all it takes to be happy is a man (optional: loads of money). See also: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Princess and the Frog, Tangled, Frozen.

      Taking all the variables into account, it would seem that the general formula to become a Disney Princess is as follows: Realize that you need a man to complete you then go the marriage market where you will hopefully meet Prince Charming, and ignore the fact that he will do anything to get you, and win him over by conforming to beauty standards so that he will notice you, then competing with other women for his affections, and being a damsel in distress to really seal the deal - then you will live happily ever after.