This is a question I usually get asked at least once or twice a year, usually by new friends male and female. The earliest I can remember being asked about my sexuality was in the 7th grade when I was offered to go over to a friends house to watch a football game on TV and declined, explaining that I was going to go shopping with a couple other friends instead and didn't care much about football anyway. At the time I took it as more of a joke than an actual genuine question and shrugged it off, more often than not the term "gay" was never used in the true sense of the word anyway. But as the years progressed, I began taking note of how often I was asked and took it as a sign that I may not exactly be like other "dudes" in my school. Because of this, I often found myself connecting more with the girls in my class where the conversations went beyond just "did you catch the game last night?" and "Oh shit, did you see Stephanie today? SO HOT." The one thing that probably saved me from being completely alienated from the guys was my high interest in video games, which was something I could talk about ad nauseam.
Even still, being asked about my sexuality persisted throughout my secondary schooling years, and after getting a view of how society interprets how men and women are expected to act, I think I have a clearer understanding as to why I was and am still asked occasionally. One point of interest that stuck out to me was during our reading of Middlesex when Dr. Luce described the characteristics of Cal during their first meeting: "The subject's facial expression...is overall pleasurable and receptive with frequent smiling. The subject often cast her eyes downward in a modest or coy manner."
Since I'm a rather shy and anxious person, I too find myself not making much eye contact when talking to others but maintain a smile so as to cut down some of the tension when speaking. The reason I bring this up is because it seems that our society sees traits such as shyness and modesty as feminine, even though these are characteristics I think all anxious people can relate to regardless of their gender. Similarly, during our viewing of The Mask You Live In, I realized just how much non-masculine qualities can impact how other perceive you. Not actively being engaged with sports, enjoying a trip or two to the mall, commenting on how nice someone's shirt was on that particular day, admiring the handsome qualities I may see in a dude from a music video, it's no wonder why I get asked which way I swing. When looking at other countries where men putting on face masks, grooming themselves properly, and even wearing makeup doesn't raise any eyebrows, one can't help but wonder why there is such a long checklist of what makes a guy a "man's man" in western culture.
It's interesting to see how your general interests and mannerisms seems to have such an impact on how people perceive you as a person. It's as if being gay or bisexual will actually make a difference in how a person acts and what he/she likes, when that’s not the case. Also, I think it is interesting how you mention that this is more specific to the western culture, because we feel the need to categorize and differentiate between these traits in what another person's sexual orientation is. The fact that your redeeming quality for not being alienated with the guys was a ‘masculine’ interest just goes to show how much emphasis our culture puts on 'gendered' actions.
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