I mean is it really? You introduce
yourself in a crowded bar to a likely drunk stranger and now you’re offended
that Kristen didn’t pick up “Kenji” at first go. Every person, at least once in
their life, has had their name mistaken for something that isn’t right but most
people brush it off and correct the person.
“O your name is Eliza! Like Eliza
Thornberry from Nickelodeon!”
“No Elijah, like the prophet (yes I
hint that I very well could be a profit).”
I
don’t get offended; I don’t make a rude stand, I just get it. I get that my
name does not, and likely will not ever make the “top ten most common name”
list and that’s ok. I also realize that
number of names that begin in “Eli” are predominantly female and outweigh those
of men so I don’t take grand offense to a mistake or a stupid joke that goes
with it. This short story of the difficult life of a transgender man is riddled
with problems and unfortunately for Kenji, no one really cares.
The
first issue is that Kristen either knew Kenji was a trans-man and did not care
or had no clue at all, either way she still extended her hand to meet him.
Kristen did what any person does when meeting someone new; she made a quick
joke off what was available. The joke didn’t land but who shoots 100% from the
line? If instead of taking offense to such a small mistake Kenji could have
just blew it off and continued the conversation.
Kenji
continues on to discuss the issue of trans “color folk” changing their name to
that of Celtic origin. This happens for a simple reason, they were raised in a
predominantly white country. Yes I know how dare I state the fact that 63% of
the United States is white and thus people who were raised here change their
name to something that falls under this category. No one asked you do to this,
no letter appeared on your doorstep with a list of acceptable names that you
had to choose from. In fact, no one cares what your name is. “This racialized
gendering of names gets in the way for people who need to make their gender
obvious in the dominant culture.” No, it does not. You can change your name to
whatever you’d like. Will your name be less common? Yes. Will people mess it up
from time to time? Of course. The idea that people really care what your name
is is idiotic.
Unfortunately
for Kenji, he is running into the common problem of finding himself as a victim
instead of the real issue, he has a name that is not common in western
cultures. No one hates him, no one thinks they’re better because their own name
is “white,” they likely just think he’s being a bit of an ass. So for next time
Kenji, just correct Kristen order yourself another Stella and don’t look for
problems that are not there.
