Gender St[what]ies?

As a student of gender studies, the academic readings assigned to me by professors and passed along to me by friends have been saturated by overcomplicated language and theories that would only make sense to a scholar of feminist thought. The inaccessibility of much of what I have read during my time in academia has made it difficult for me to describe in layman’s terms what the heck I have learned at Austin College, causing my family to be extremely confused as to what the connotations of being a gender studies major are. When I read Julia Serrano’s “Performance Piece” in Gender Outlaws, the statement she made, “…when we make judgments about other people’s genders, we’re typically basing it on our own assumptions…” (87) was all too real in connection with my family’s understanding of my identity based on my focus of study.

Last semester I took time off halfway through my senior year and moved to my native El Paso and spent, what was for the first time in my adult life, an extended amount of time with my grandparents who are both well into their nineties. Belonging to a generation predating the Baby Boomers, their gender identities have been shaped by and perpetuate separate sphere ideologies. Needless to say, my interests and the way I present myself are confusing to them; I remember being 19, sitting in a diner with my grandmother after I decided on a major and having her ask me pointedly if I were gay:

Three years and a couple of heterosexual relationships later, I am driving my grandfather to the doctor just days after the Orlando shooting when the car conversation turns to homosexuality. I mentally prepare myself for my grandfather to reveal some disappointing truths about himself, but he surprises me:

“You know, homosexuality is not for me—it makes me really sad, but I have

never thought that anyone chooses to be gay when they wake up in the morning.

Why would anyone choose that for themselves? No, I think they were born that

way and it makes me sad but I can’t do anything about that at my age except

love them. That’s what they are in need of right now, more love. You know, if

you told me now you were a lesbian I wouldn’t do anything except love you

more. What do you think about that?”

Stunned by my grandfather’s admission of love, which in some ways shattered my assumptions about his generation’s bigoted thinking, all I could say was, “That’s really great Opa, but I have a boyfriend.” 

Serrano’s piece nailed it, assumptions make an ass out of everyone.